Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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