I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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