Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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