end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My feet surprised me
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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