it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Help. Why am I so naked?
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