when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We talked him into tasing himself.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
