What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
