At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
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Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
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I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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