Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
