so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
