I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
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