Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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