Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
