So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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