operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
