My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
