oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
