the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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