Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
