I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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