You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize