one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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