do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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