it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
