halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
