I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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