Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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