i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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