Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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