so that wasnt chicken after all
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
