Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
