direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
