My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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