Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
