just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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