I wish I could punch you in the face.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
