So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
