is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She bit a glass in half.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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