i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
