the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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