white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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