therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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