Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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