I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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