a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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