when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
she peed on how many people?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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