Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Randomize
