I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
