Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
