Umm I'm too high to move.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
