Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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