Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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