Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize