If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
