I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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