The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
