You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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