I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
