Just cropdusted the office
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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