absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Randomize
